Harper Allen on Pre-Sleep Mindfulness: Learning How to Let the Mind Rest

For much of her early career as a UX researcher, Harper Allen lived mentally one step ahead of herself. Her attention was almost always aimed at what came next—unfinished tasks, future meetings, imagined conversations, or tiny details that somehow grew louder once the lights were off.

During the day, this forward-focused thinking helped her excel. At night, it did the opposite. Her body felt drained, but her mind refused to rest. Thoughts bounced rapidly from one topic to another, even when she had no intention of thinking at all.

“It wasn’t classic insomnia,” Harper explained. “My brain just wouldn’t settle. I kept waiting for that switch to flip—the moment when thinking stops—but it never happened.”

At first, she assumed the solution had to be external. She experimented with supplements, stricter bedtime routines, late-night workouts, herbal teas, dim lighting, and calming music. Some worked briefly, but nothing lasted. Eventually, she realised the issue wasn’t her surroundings—it was the speed her mind was still carrying from the day. There was no transition between being mentally ‘on’ and trying to sleep.

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That realisation changed everything.

When the mind doesn’t know how to slow down

Harper’s sleep struggles didn’t appear overnight. They built gradually through years of stimulation, pressure, and constant productivity. In her twenties, she saw herself as a “night thinker,” someone who did her best mental work after dark. Over time, however, that habit turned into mental looping she couldn’t escape

The moment she lay down, her thoughts lined up for attention—plans, memories, worries, half-finished ideas. It felt like the entire day was still active inside her. Some nights her chest felt tight, her breathing shallow, her shoulders tense, as if her body resisted slowing down altogether.

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What she later learned was that this experience has a name: cognitive arousal. Unlike physical sleep issues, cognitive arousal happens when the mind stays alert and busy instead of shifting into a calm, restorative state. Her brain wasn’t broken—it was overstimulated.

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Understanding this lifted a huge weight of self-blame. She wasn’t bad at sleeping. She simply had never learned how to guide her mind out of high gear.

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Rethinking mindfulness

A turning point came when a colleague shared an article on mindfulness and sleep. Harper had always dismissed mindfulness as something impractical—long meditations, spiritual rituals, or silent retreats that didn’t fit her life. But a Harvard Health overview re-framed it in a way that finally made sense.

Mindfulness, she learned, wasn’t about clearing the mind. It was about noticing thoughts without getting pulled along by them. It didn’t require silence—it required awareness.

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Her early attempts were awkward. Sitting still made her thoughts louder, not quieter. She felt restless and annoyed, joking that meditation made her more alert than her morning meetings. Over time, though, she understood the mistake she was making: trying to force calm.

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When she stopped demanding quiet and instead observed her thoughts with curiosity, they began to soften naturally. That shift—from control to observation—made mindfulness usable for her nights.

Creating a bridge between day and night

One evening after work, instead of jumping straight into distractions, Harper paused. She noticed the pressure behind her eyes, the speed of her breathing, the intensity of her thoughts. That brief moment of awareness created something she hadn’t had before: transition.

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She realised the mind doesn’t drop from full speed to rest instantly. It needs gradual slowing. Layers. Space.

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This simple practice—acknowledging the shift from “doing” to “being done”—became the foundation of her per-sleep routine. It wasn’t dramatic or time-consuming, but it was effective.

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Using breath to signal safety

As her awareness grew, Harper noticed her breathing pattern was keeping her alert. Her breaths were short and quick, with longer inhales than exhales—signals of a nervous system still on guard.

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Mindful breathing taught her to reverse that pattern. Slower nasal breaths and longer exhales helped send a message of safety to her body. With attention resting on breath, her thoughts loosened their grip.

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Some nights the effect was immediate. Other nights it took patience. But unlike external tools, breath was always available—and always effective.

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Letting the body lead the mind

Harper also learned that the mind often follows the body’s state. A clenched jaw encouraged sharp thinking. Tight shoulders kept her alert. A rigid posture reinforced vigilance.

By gently relaxing her body—softening her tongue, releasing her hands, scanning for tension—she noticed her thoughts became less urgent. Not silent, but gentler. Less reactive. In that softened state, sleep felt reachable.

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Mindfulness before bed stopped feeling like a task and started feeling like unwinding—slowly loosening knots rather than pulling at them.

Facing emotions instead of fighting them

One unexpected change came as her practice deepened: emotions surfaced at night. Small frustrations, unfinished conversations, background worries she’d ignored during the day finally asked for attention.

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Previously, she labelled this as overthinking. Mindfulness helped her see it differently. The mind, she realised, processes what the day leaves behind.

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By gently naming emotions instead of resisting them, their intensity faded. They passed more quickly. The urge to mentally fix everything before sleep disappeared.

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A new relationship with nighttime

After months of consistency, Harper noticed a fundamental shift. Night no longer felt like a struggle. Turning off the lights wasn’t something she feared. Her thoughts no longer felt like enemies.

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Sleep improved—not because she forced calm, but because her nervous system learned to trust the night. Her breathing slowed earlier. Her heart rate dropped naturally. She woke less often and felt clearer in the mornings instead of perpetually drained

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